My Heart's Desires

Noah enjoying a walk around town

Right now there are two things I want with all my heart and neither seem to be happening.
I go through days when I don't mind so much and I feel better, but then other days it just hits me and I feel frustrated and angry, upset and disappointed. I feel stupid for feeling like this when I have so much to be thankful for, but I just don't seem to be able to get over them!

Firstly I would like a car! It is the worst thing being able to drive and not having anything to drive. When it's a lovely bright sunny day on a relaxed week I love walking around Ashford. I feel lucky that I can walk to the music groups and swimming lessons, that they are almost on my doorstep. On a rainy day, or in a busy week when I have lots to get done I get so frustrated. Swimming is a 40 minute walk away, not so nice when it's wet. Also that makes 1 hour 20 mins walking for a 30 minute lesson! There are buses, which supposedly run 'every 15 minutes' but more often that not you can wait half an hour before one comes, I would rather be walking and keeping warm! I have also been told I can't get on a bus with the buggy or I have to fold it up, which of course the bus driver wont help with! The last time this happened I actual had to give Noah to a regular customer from my old shop who had stopped to say hello because there was no way I could do it alone! So that was pretty much the last time I attempted the bus! We have no money for a car, not a penny spare really, I wish we could find a way but with Noah starting nursery there's no way!

Secondly, I would like another baby. My body seems to have other ideas about that, maybe it's seen our bank balance.....