23 Jun 2013

And I'm back!

Photo taken on holiday in Antigua last month

What's that? Can you hear it? Yup, that's the cheers and applause for my return. Possibly. Yes I have finally got over myself and come back to you my beloved (or something like that) readers. I do apologise for my absence, and I have had a lot of people saying how much they missed reading it, so here I am!

You see, at first I thought I had a little writers block, that I was doing anything interesting worth writing about. Then I just decided I just didn't want to write down what I had to say. The last thing I wanted was for this blog to become some kind of pathetic 'dear diary....' situation where I air all my troubles and constantly whinge and moan! I hate whinging and moaning. So I steered clear of writing anything.

Then I was just being lazy!

I am, however, back and back to stay. A little recap of what was going on though and why I just needed to (wo)man up!

We still hadn't managed to make a baby and I was feeling pretty fed up about it. Then a very wise and wonderful family friend told me; "I firmly believe that your body wont get pregnant again until it is ready to". That pretty much kicked me right where it needed to! I just said you know what yeah! I wasn't in a great place emotionally and surgery and whatnot is pretty traumatic on the body. So even if the doctors say it's fine, your body may have other ideas. That helped me calm my thoughts a lot, although I still dedicated myself more to charting my cycles so I could take a more logical rather than emotional view on what was going on.

The other reason that not being pregnant was getting me down was that I had never intended to go back to work for so long. I was quite happy to take a step down in responsibility when it was only temporary, but as the time went on I began to feel that I was wasting my time. Topping it off with work being a pretty unhappy place at the moment, with staff who are not good enough, lots of bitching and moaning and general frustrations, I just never ever wanted to go in. In my decision to let baby stuff happen when it happens, I also decided to focus on what job I would rather be doing instead. I have told work that I would like to be a manager again, but that will just happen if a store comes up and I am suitable so it could be a long time. I've started a manager workbook to get my mind working again anyway. I am also looking elsewhere, I know Nero isn't in my forever, everyone needs a change sometimes! I just have no idea what. So I have been looking else where for interesting sounding vacancies (although this isn't really a thing for someone with no qualifications) and there is the prospect of an interesting joint business venture with a friend!

Other things that were bothering me were an awful lodger who was tearing at Thomas and my relationship, he is now gone and we are very happy again. Also we were going on a big family holiday/wedding which I was dreading. The idea of taking Noah away was completely stressing me out, but it was brilliant, hard but nowhere near as bad as I had prepared myself for! As you can see from the picture above there were lots of smiles.

So now things are on the up. I recently attended/helped with my best friend's wedding which was amazing and I loved being involved in the preparations (event planner....!?). Nothing like the happiest day of someone else's life to perk you right up!

Now if only we could sort Noah's sleep issues.......but that's another post!

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