Toddler Sleep Problems

Getting a toddler to sleep. Such fun! This picture is the from the first night of when we began to resolve our problems!

Here's what happened tonight. We had a bath, mostly stress free, although he loves to splash me at the moment so the bathroom ends up SOAKED! He did not want to get in his jammies (the sign he wasn't going down easy). Then it was story time, he was not listening at all just pottered around the room whilst I read. After the first story he brought me a different one, sat on my lap and listened really nicely cuddled up to me and rubbed his eyes trying not to fall asleep. Here I'm like, 'wahoo he's going to sleep easy tonight'. So wrong!

I then put him in bed and he sort of stayed put. Now normally I will sit and read my book whilst he falls off to sleep but I had forgotten to bring it in. I could see he wasn't going off quickly so I asked him to stay put whilst I went and got it. Stay put he did not! He got out of bed shut the door behind me and got back in bed. That seemed like quite clear message so I left him to it. About five minutes later I could hear a lot of crashing around. I went up to tell him to get into bed but he refused to stay put so I left him again. Within five minutes he was crying my name. I went up again and stayed outside the room, I told him I would come and sit with him if he got in bed and refused to come in until he got into bed. Once he was in, I sat down and read my book, he was asleep very quickly and I stayed reading for ages because it was a good bit!

Now it may not sound like it but that felt like a success! I didn't need to stress, I could tell when things were going to work and what he would listen to.

Why is bedtime such a chore?!

It started when we got back from Antigua. Before that it was story, in the cot, leave the room, never go back! Whilst we were away we were either in the room or he fell asleep in the buggy. There was no routine at all. When we got back bedtime became hell!

After 10 days of fighting he told us quite clearly that the cot was the problem. So right there and then we took the sides off and turned it into his big boy bed! The first few nights were fine but after that it became a fight again. We couldn't get him to stay in bed and it was just more fight than we could handle. After much reading online we decided to put a stair gate across his door so we could just leave him to sort himself out.

Now it's a juggle each night figuring what kind of mood he is in. He does go to sleep easier if we sit in with him whilst he drifts off, but some nights we can just tell it will be easier to leave him to it. I actually love sitting in with him. Watching that kid fall asleep is one of my all time favourite things to do, but also how can I complain about getting to read every night! In the last week whilst Thomas has been studying hard I've been on bedtime duty and read half a book!

Does anyone else have any bed time nightmares? Fears of moving from a cot to a bed? Would love to hear your stories.

Bx

And I'm back!

Photo taken on holiday in Antigua last month

What's that? Can you hear it? Yup, that's the cheers and applause for my return. Possibly. Yes I have finally got over myself and come back to you my beloved (or something like that) readers. I do apologise for my absence, and I have had a lot of people saying how much they missed reading it, so here I am!

You see, at first I thought I had a little writers block, that I was doing anything interesting worth writing about. Then I just decided I just didn't want to write down what I had to say. The last thing I wanted was for this blog to become some kind of pathetic 'dear diary....' situation where I air all my troubles and constantly whinge and moan! I hate whinging and moaning. So I steered clear of writing anything.

Then I was just being lazy!

I am, however, back and back to stay. A little recap of what was going on though and why I just needed to (wo)man up!

We still hadn't managed to make a baby and I was feeling pretty fed up about it. Then a very wise and wonderful family friend told me; "I firmly believe that your body wont get pregnant again until it is ready to". That pretty much kicked me right where it needed to! I just said you know what yeah! I wasn't in a great place emotionally and surgery and whatnot is pretty traumatic on the body. So even if the doctors say it's fine, your body may have other ideas. That helped me calm my thoughts a lot, although I still dedicated myself more to charting my cycles so I could take a more logical rather than emotional view on what was going on.

The other reason that not being pregnant was getting me down was that I had never intended to go back to work for so long. I was quite happy to take a step down in responsibility when it was only temporary, but as the time went on I began to feel that I was wasting my time. Topping it off with work being a pretty unhappy place at the moment, with staff who are not good enough, lots of bitching and moaning and general frustrations, I just never ever wanted to go in. In my decision to let baby stuff happen when it happens, I also decided to focus on what job I would rather be doing instead. I have told work that I would like to be a manager again, but that will just happen if a store comes up and I am suitable so it could be a long time. I've started a manager workbook to get my mind working again anyway. I am also looking elsewhere, I know Nero isn't in my forever, everyone needs a change sometimes! I just have no idea what. So I have been looking else where for interesting sounding vacancies (although this isn't really a thing for someone with no qualifications) and there is the prospect of an interesting joint business venture with a friend!

Other things that were bothering me were an awful lodger who was tearing at Thomas and my relationship, he is now gone and we are very happy again. Also we were going on a big family holiday/wedding which I was dreading. The idea of taking Noah away was completely stressing me out, but it was brilliant, hard but nowhere near as bad as I had prepared myself for! As you can see from the picture above there were lots of smiles.

So now things are on the up. I recently attended/helped with my best friend's wedding which was amazing and I loved being involved in the preparations (event planner....!?). Nothing like the happiest day of someone else's life to perk you right up!

Now if only we could sort Noah's sleep issues.......but that's another post!

Approaching 1000

Hello there everyone.
I am very soon to go over the 1000 page views boundary! I really can't believe so many of you want to read my random chatterings, but thank you very much!

I apologies that I haven't been very active of late. Writers block I suppose. I don't feel very positive about things going on in my life, there are people and situations making things very stressful and I don't want to write whole posts full of misery! So I have been choosing silence.

On a positive note, Noah has become the biggest mimic and a right little chatterbox. He comes home from nursery singing and doing the actions of a new rhyme every day, he recites the swimming teachers instructions in the car on the way home, every time we teach him a new word he uses it the next time in perfect context, he is beginning to use possessive words (without the actual s though) - 'Mummy tea', 'Noah boots', 'Daddy tootah (computer)', even the occasional two words strung together - this morning at breakfast he was quite concerned that we haven't seen his best pal in a couple of weeks and kept saying 'Where Lois?'. It really is adorable, and a little scary how much he notices!

I'm going to have to get some video of him singing the nursery rhymes, the wheels on the bus is just the best!

Because what's a blog post without a photo - Noah insists on wearing these shorts whenever
he can despite the rather chilly temperatures!

On having a poorly child

Snuggled up in the sofa bed - now to be called the sick den -  watching a disney movie

Noah has been really poorly for the last few days. Right now he is upstairs having a nice long nap which is the first time since Thursday. If only he had decided to sleep a bit later and I would have been able to sleep as well, none of us have been able to sleep whilst he's been ill!

It started on Thursday, I had no idea what was wrong with him, he just whined. All day. I took his temp in the afternoon because I couldn't figure out what else it could be and didn't want to take him to his swimming lesson if he was sick! The temp was fine though, so we went ahead with swimming. That evening though his temp went right up and has been floating around 38.5 - 39 degrees ever since. It did shoot up above 40 at one point which totally freaked me out (read about febrile seizures over on Melissa's blog), but he had fallen asleep under a duvet! He's had a rash on and off on his chest but this morning it came up all over his face and his eyes were all puffy. I decided it was time to visit the doctors, I knew that there wouldn't really be anything they could do but some reassurance is nice! Sure enough it is just a virus, a nasty one though, so no antibiotics unless the rash becomes pustules that start weeping (please no!). We did get some cream for his rash which will hopefully keep him more comfortable. I also got the reassurance I needed that we are doing everything right, keeping him in just a nappy, alternating between calpol and nurofen to keep his temperature in check (it hasn't actually brought it down much but at least it doesn't get any higher) and making sure he drinks lots.

The biggest shock to me has been I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT! I have become an overprotective worry mum! I'm usually so calm in a crisis, if anything happens to me I just get on with it and stay fairly level headed. Not when it's my baby apparently! I just want to take it away from him and feel sick myself! I need to hold him all the time when he's at his worst. Even if Thomas is holding him instead of me my hands are itching to take him and clutch him to me! I would give anything to make him better now.

Bx

Achieving one's potential

I've been trying to find the words to say how I am feeling about my work at the moment, but they are not forthcoming.

I have worked at Caffe Nero for more than six years now. I first got the job when I decided to leave university before completing my nursing degree. Not becoming a nurse was something I never regret, I knew I was not good at the job, I found the human biology interesting but that was about all. When I got the job it was meant to be an interim, whilst I figured out what I did want to do.

I found I was great at my job, unashamedly, although it just came to me so easily it just seemed common sense to me (this does cause problems for me when other people struggle with the job, I can't understand their difficulty). I was running my own shop a little more than a year after I started.

Management did not come so easily. I cared too much about what people thought of me, did everything I could to keep my staff happy and didn't really care for the numbers. Yet as is inevitable, at times my staff hated me, as a manager you shoulder the blame for everything they dislike about the job and I couldn't deal with it. When I became pregnant I was thrilled, not just because we were having a baby, but because I was more than ready to leave. I hoped I wouldn't have to return but there was no way we could afford that!

Maternity leave was good for me though. I was ready to go back and when I did I was actually pleased to have some days off from being a mummy. I now work as an assistant manager in a really busy shop. I am a much better number two, although I have realised I was a much better manager than I gave myself credit for at the time. My new boss is great we get on so well, think so alike but also have different priorities, I do the people side, he does the numbers! I can't say how much I enjoy working with him, I now love my job again.

I just have one issue, the pay. I get £7 an hour. To try and describe everything I have to do in one shift it would last pages. Customers often treat us like we are stupid because of the job we do, but I think few people could do it well. You need to be able to do about 100 things at once. We always run on minimum staff so my time is divided between loads of tasks whilst making sure everything I can't do is being done by someone else! It's all second nature to me now though, my colleagues think I'm a genius problem solver but I've just had everything happen before! I know I deserve more pay but I'm being unrealistic.

I would love to be able to move on, do a job that challenges me more. I dream of being an event planner, I'm not sure what; live music, weddings, conferences, fundraising..... and I know I would be good at the job and have many transferable skills, but how many people would look at my CV and think that? How can I leave a job that is so flexible with my hours so I can do what is best for our family? I would probably have to travel meaning that in an entry level job I would probably have less take home. Would it be better to do a degree to have a chance of a higher level job?

I can't answer these questions at the moment and I don't feel ready to leave Nero, but that may just be fear of the unknown. If anyone would like to hire me freelance to plan a party I wouldn't say no though!

Bx

My Heart's Desires

Noah enjoying a walk around town

Right now there are two things I want with all my heart and neither seem to be happening.
I go through days when I don't mind so much and I feel better, but then other days it just hits me and I feel frustrated and angry, upset and disappointed. I feel stupid for feeling like this when I have so much to be thankful for, but I just don't seem to be able to get over them!

Firstly I would like a car! It is the worst thing being able to drive and not having anything to drive. When it's a lovely bright sunny day on a relaxed week I love walking around Ashford. I feel lucky that I can walk to the music groups and swimming lessons, that they are almost on my doorstep. On a rainy day, or in a busy week when I have lots to get done I get so frustrated. Swimming is a 40 minute walk away, not so nice when it's wet. Also that makes 1 hour 20 mins walking for a 30 minute lesson! There are buses, which supposedly run 'every 15 minutes' but more often that not you can wait half an hour before one comes, I would rather be walking and keeping warm! I have also been told I can't get on a bus with the buggy or I have to fold it up, which of course the bus driver wont help with! The last time this happened I actual had to give Noah to a regular customer from my old shop who had stopped to say hello because there was no way I could do it alone! So that was pretty much the last time I attempted the bus! We have no money for a car, not a penny spare really, I wish we could find a way but with Noah starting nursery there's no way!

Secondly, I would like another baby. My body seems to have other ideas about that, maybe it's seen our bank balance.....

Oyster and Chop House, Herne Bay

Mallard with wild rice and fennel, ginger and rhubarb sauce

Last night we went out for a meal for Thomas' Grandad's 70th birthday. It's safe to say that we like to eat out, A LOT. However, we would rather go out less and have great food than more often and it not be so good. Recently we ate at a beefeater and the food was way too much and fairly average, the service was slow and they didn't listen to my request for Noah's food to come out as soon as physically possible, instead it came out after ours! I felt disappointed that it still wasn't exactly cheap but it really wasn't worth the visit!

Last night most certainly was not a disappointment. The Oyster and Chop House in Herne Bay was way better than I was expecting. All the food they served was sourced within 18 miles of the restaurant, it was all fairtrade and organic where possible and it was ALL beautifully presented and delicious, and I didn't feel stuffed just perfectly comfortable and satisfied. The coffee was great too.

Most definitely worth a drive! Go try it.
Bx